Monday, March 31, 2014

too fast

It has really hit me the past few days how fast time is passing by.
I never really thought this realization would come.  Up until now, time simply moved forward. Sometimes fast, and other times miserably slow.
This new discovery has turned me into an emotional puddle of mush.  With each smile, giggle and new milestone, I find myself choking back tears as I desperately try to avoid a complete meltdown.

Since having Octavian, there have been some incredibly long days.  Days that, while consumed by those moments, seemed to never end.  But, somehow, they were each over too fast and without warning.
And now, the days that move fast, well, it seems like they never happened at all.
I guess this is what happens when you have kids.
I was warned, but the realization has hit me like a ton of bricks.

Octavian is nearly 5 months old and sometimes I feel like the rushing of time will kill me.
He is at such an incredible age.  Every day he learns something new and is still lucky enough to see the world with fresh new eyes.
I knew I would love my baby, but you never really understand how overwhelming this love is until you have your own.
My love for him physically hurts-
and my new awareness of time just twists the knife a little deeper.

I try to savoir each and every moment as much as I can, since I know that is all I can do.
This can be hard for a person like me- a person that likes structure, order and predictability.
...That's another thing with having kids, all those things no longer exist, and if they did it will change next week.

Motherhood is like a roller-coaster. 
It brings you up. It brings you down.
It makes you cry, and it makes you laugh (sometimes harder than you ever thought possible).
But no matter what, it's over too fast, and unfortunately you can't get back in line and re-live the ride.

Despite this harsh reality of time, I am so thankful for each day and will take whatever I can get.

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1 comment:

Andi of My Beautiful Adventures said...

I can only imagine how fast it seems once you have a baby!