Saturday, December 29, 2012


2012 was not at all what I expected.
honestly, when I look back on this year, i sometimes find myself muttering-
not in a bad way.
but, more in a did that really happen kind of way.

I marked the start of the year without my other half,
the fiance was in India and I was in California without any indication of when he would be back,
or, more importantly, when we would have a life together again.
I was in no way ok with this waiting game.
so, i went on my own adventure- to Germany.

I often reflect on this decision.
 and, if i'm being honest,  I am still in awe of myself.
To move to a new country and live with a family I had never met-
well, this is not something I imagined myself ever doing.
not because I wouldn't want to.
but because I never thought I would have the courage to do so.
I remember waiting for my plane to take off on March 23rd,
talking on the phone with Aaron and trying to hold the tears back.
trying to stay strong.
this was my decision, after all.

My life in Germany started off wonderfully.
Granted, life as an au pair was a little different than I had originally anticipated,
it forced me to suck up my pride, remain humble and focus on why I was there in the first place-
to do something exciting, entirely on my own.

Weeks turned in to months, and while I loved the travel opportunities and all the new experiences,
I still missed one very big thing-
my other half.
After a visit from him in June, life sorta fell in to place.
But, that didn't come without some big decisions.
to stay?
or to return home?
After lots of tears, I decided that my place was with him-
wherever that took me.
Life is short, my friends. 
solo adventures are fun for a while, but I knew this adventure had come to an end.

I returned to California on my 26th birthday,
July 22nd.
Although I was sad to say goodbye to my little German village, the bakeries, and the overall way of life in Germany,
I was even more excited to return home.

Within two weeks, Aaron and I found an apartment,
and resumed life-
this time, together.

Although India is still very much a part of our future,
and probably a large part of 2013,
this time will be different-
never again will the time apart be unknown.

Since resolutions never stick, I will enter 2013 with this in mind-
it's going to be a good one. I can feel it.
My one hope for this year is to start a family. 
The waiting game month after month for those two blue lines is quite literally driving me nuts.

Also, I promise to get through more of my travel with you all, since I still have several countries to cover. I also hope to share more recipes with you.

note: my decision to return to CA was not strictly due to missing Aaron.  While it was a large player, there are more complex reasons for my decision.

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Svenja said...

Wishing you a blessed year of 2013! May all your hopes and wishes will come true and unfold in all beautiful possible ways of positive surprises.


Megan C. Stroup said...

Great reflections. Also, love the new header! I usually read your blog in my reader, so I don't know how long you've had it, but I like it!

Kimberly Montgomery said...

What a great adventure (s) for 2012! Looking forward to reading more of your adventures.

ifs ands Butts said...

Can't wait to hear what 2013 brings you Bailey!

Sarah and Stewart said...

Happy New Year and I hope 2013 brings you all the best!

RadiantKristen said...

I really hope that all of your 2013.dreams come true, and that you and I both get to join the pregnant blogger club this year! Good luck in all of your adventures moving forward

Alex said...

I hope you have an absolutely incredible 2013! :)

Alyx said...

Girl, you do not have to explain that decision to anyone. You did what was best for you, and that's all that matters. Here's to 2013 being a great year!!

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Lindsay [rookie's nest] said...

This story literally gave me goosebumps! They're still there!! Ahh! It's funny you shared this. I'm in a long-distance relationship right now & sharing a blog post about it this Wednesday. It's literally the hardest thing I've ever had to do but has made my relationship very strong to the point where I know I've found the person I want to be with, indefinitely. Thanks for sharing & I'm so glad you made a decision that made you happy!

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I know this post is a little old, but I love that you saw so much in 2012 and are following your heart in 2013! Enjoy this year! =D

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