Thursday, July 19, 2012

keepin it real


i've been at a bit of a loss for words lately.
and it is one reason why you all have heard so little from me this past week.
in many ways,
i feel a bit paralyzed, stuck.
 or simply like i'm running in place.

i told my host family a week ago that i would be leaving early.
i explained that living in germany,
a place so far from home and family,
isn't the place for me right now.

i am fortunate that they have been so understanding.
after all, they sensed that i was not happy,
that i missed home.
but, since i gave notice,
my need to be home, near the people that really know me,
grows more and more unbearable each day.
meanwhile, time has slowed.
and i feel like i am getting nowhere.

i have no more than two weeks before I will be on a plane,
and on my way home.
talk of apartement shopping and a road trip are in the works.

however, all i know for certain is that,
1. there is an unassembled burrito out there with my name on it, and,
2. lots of cuddle time with the kids and fiance.

I know this is just a temporary period of adjustment,
and anticipation.
I will be back to my normal self soon!

my apologies for the down in the dumps post- again- but, i'm just trying to keep it real. 
Plus, i'll be interested to look back on this a year from now and see how my perspective has changed.

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Melissa said...

I love the honesty! I hope these next two weeks go in the manner you want them to. I just know you will have the sweetest homecoming.

Tamaras Blend said...

Whoa, did not see this coming! But it's for the best if you feel that way. Hope we'll see each other in a few days! :)

Shireen said...

I feel exactly the same way: stuck in place, and time has slowed down. I have only a few weeks left in Korea and I cannot wait to get going to the next place. It's hard to always keep things positive when you just aren't feeling that way!! At least it can only get better from here, right?

You could try rereading your own blog posts from when you first arrived and felt super excited to be there. That's helped me. Don't worry about feeling down, it will pass.

bailey j said...

Keeping it real is important. No one's life is perfect so no one wants to read about how some else's is - it's not relate-able or realistic. Kudos to you - thinkin of ya and excited for you to be where your heart yearns to be!

Natasha Ting said...

i guess that's how a traveller sometimes feel. but i am eager to experience that. and i hope you come round real soon. Life is fun! :D


Ikra said...

Sometimes we feel like this. I hope 2 weeks will pass away just like anything :) Xo Xo
Sneak peek into my life

Erin Winkel said...

Just found your blog -- love this post. I'm on my last week in Honduras after spending a year here working at a kid's home. It's been a good experience but I am ready to go and the day can't come fast enough! I hope it goes fast for you, try to enjoy the little things that were so exciting in the beginning.

Andi of My Beautiful Adventures said...

Enjoy your last 2 weeks!!!

David Marshall said...

Know how you feel. I had a six month internship that took me away from my fiancé. It was brutal, you can be in a nice place with good people, but without intimate relationships life is a trial.

Alyx said...

You'll be all right! Try to get as much in as you can over the next couple weeks - it'll make the time go by faster, too!

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Beate said...

I can totally understand how you're feeling and I'm sure you're doing the right thing now. I hope you'll feel much better soon!
What a shame we don't get to visit any places together now though.

I have awarded your blog with the "Liebster Blog Award" today - just wanted to let you know :)

Have a wonderful week!

Alex Butts said...

I hope you got your unassembled burrito... had mine last night and it was so damn good. Yeahh Chipotle!