Wednesday, May 9, 2012

a word on long distance relationships...

the fiance left a few hours ago.
he arrived almost a week ago exactly, and now, he's gone.
back to India.
back to his hopes and dreams of building a comfortable future for us, 
and my unfertilized eggs.

we have been doing this whole long distance thing for almost 6 months.
and, although the past 6 months have flown by, 
they have not been the same because he is no longer a part of my everyday life
(unless you count Skype- I do not)
a piece of me is missing every day he is in India and I am in Germany.

the reality is this-
long distance relationships are really really hard.
they require constant sacrifice, communication and patience.
and more than anything, they demand a love between two people that can withstand the stress of being apart.

sometimes, I wonder what the hell i'm doing.
i worry that one day our love will disappear,
or go forgotten,
that he will forget me,
because we have a relationship through our computers.
when we argue
(and believe me, we argue)
there are no hugs and kisses to make it all better.

all we have are words.

although our long distance love is not always a walk in the park,
i have faith,
and such an enormous love for this one person,
that i can't imagine it would fail.
and, let's be honest, what relationship is without even the smallest of challenges?

Even at my weakest and most insecure moments,
i know we'll make it.
and, most important,
I know the distance won't last forever.

unfortunately, until the end arrives,
it may just feel that way.

sad heart aside,
i had an amazing week.
and that is what i'm trying to focus on.
and although I do not know when we will be able to hold each other again,
i can only hope it will be soon,
and look forward to the good times ahead.

i apologize for my blogging absence,
but for this last week,
it was all about me and the fiance (and work).

but now, I am back.
and friends, let me tell you,
I have a lot to share with you.
stay tuned!
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Jes said...

chris and i did the long distance for a year and a half. i know what you're going through on some small scale. it wasn't germany and india, it was northern california to southern california, but i know how you feel in terms of the daily aspect of not having that person there.

i also found that most of our arguments (we had them a lot too) were based merely on our frustrations for the situation and we were taking them out on one another. it was hard.

hope you find comfort in the daydreams of seeing him again soon! :)

Anonymous said...

I've been there, friend! I know how hard it is. I totally get what you say about arguing. It was tough having a relationship through Skype and google chat. But you're absolutely right - the distance is not gonna last forever. And your year in Germany is gonna fly by - believe me. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe I've been in California for over three years. You'll get through this :)

kimberly @ lush lounge said...

Hang in there & enjoy all the beauty of Germany! It won't get any easier being apart but time WILL fly!

Amy G. said...

Agreed, long distance is no fun. The hubs and I never had to endure that long of a distance. We only had an hour and a half drive separating us while we were engaged and that was challenging at times. Hang in there! You're heart is in the right place and you'll be together again sooner than you know :) (Easier said than done I know!)

Joslin said...

I was in your situation for almost 2 years. I consider it one of the hardest things in my life. Skype makes it easier, but you're right, it's definitely not the same as having him there with you. I also agree with Jes, we had a lot of petty fights as a result of our frustrations. I wish you the best of luck, hope you have lots of fun distractions until you're reunited.

Maria said...

Oh I completely understand how stressful long distance relationships can be. I wish y'all the best! Sending thoughts your way!

Alex Butts said...

Looks like y'all had a great time though - can't wait to hear more about it!

Krista Lynn said...

I totally understand. Me and my boy are going on 8 months long distance. It's so hard, but I keep telling myself to be patient... It will all be worth it.

Suz said...

Totally agreed. Long distant relationships aren't fun at all. I have the same worries. And p.s. those are awesome pictures!

English Anderson said...

It is very difficult. I think it makes it harder when you don't have family nearby to rely on, either. Something I've learned from multiple deployments [and multiple long-distance arguments] is that it helps to talk to a close friend. I'm not big on revealing my personal side of things, but relaying what was bothering me and what we were fighting about to someone outside of the situation helped keep me grounded, and also gave me an alternate opinion on whether or not I was being realistic, or just plain selfish. The hubby and I also write letters to each other often, and about anything & everything on our minds. Hopefully your time apart flies by quickly, and you are reunited soon!


Melissa said...

You two are such a beautiful couple. Love can conquer distance. It can be so hard but so worth it. I'm excited to read about your week!

Jamie said...

Long distance is so hard. Hang in there.

Alyx said...

Do NOT apologize for being gone this week - I hope you enjoyed every second you got to spend with him!!
Keep your chin up, you can make it another few months!

Karina Marie Powell said...

so happy i found your blog! you are darling! def. your newest follower!! xoxo

Ben & Cassie said...

well written, we did long distance once and you are right, all you have our words! So glad you guys got a week together, you can do it!!

Janna Bogert said...

Since my hubby is deployed we ae going through the same thing! I don't find it to be as hard as I thought, but it's only been two months. No fights yet! If it's real love, then you won't forget about each other...Have faith because worry will only stress your relationship more! {{Hugs}}

The Banty Rooster said...

Jess, I cannot even imagine how hard it must be between you and the fiance! The hubs and I have not been apart more than a college Christmas break. I think your long distance relationship will help keep your future marriage strong. It is the tests we go through that build a healthy and stable marriage. Dan and have been through MANY tests in the last year, distance not being one of them, and we have learned so much about each other and about our marriage in the process. love you girl!

Laura said...

I can completely relate to this. My boyfriend is French and I am Canadian and although we are together in France right now, we were apart for a few months. And you are right about the's so hard to not be able to physically touch the person afterwards, which when we're together, makes everything okay again. But I just take the situation to mean that we are a solid enough couple and that a lot of couples would never have the guts to do this! I'm also surprised to find that many, many couples have had to go through a long-distance thing at some point.

Sophie said...

long distance is so hard. you write about it perfectly. and so honestly. it brings back so many memories and feelings. i know you guys will be ok :)

so happy you had such a lovely week though. can't wait to see more x

Sally said...

Hey there friend! Nice to have you back. Thanks for sharing your thoughts...I know what you is hard when people you love are far away and all you have are words. I am trying to see the gift that learning to use words, and words alone, to communciate is - I honestly think that this season for you and the boy will teach you a lot of precious lessons that will make your relationship richer in the long term. I hope that encourages you my friend!! Hope you are having a great day xoxo

Jenna E said...

I know what you are going through. My husband and I only just got married in September and got pregnant in October. We started our long distance relationship in January and it hasn't been a walk in the park. He has been here now for a week though so I am thrilled. He leaves Tuesday and won't be back until the baby is born. That part makes me nervous!!

hayley [] said...

the hardest :( we should get some fucking medals when it's all said and done.

Anonymous said...

I love the way the pictures are done. I don't know if I could do what you guys are doing, so kudos.

african girl said...

I understand what you feel because we have the same situation. I and bf were far from each other because I live in the province while he was a city guy. Distance is never an issue to us when we were still studying in college because we were classmates. So, we see each other everyday. When we graduated after 3 days, he started working in a big company while I was still searching for my luck. Since he started working we agreed that we will meet every saturday because that's his day off/rest day. Still the communication is there, less arguments I guess rather than seeing each other everyday.

It took me almost 3 months until I finally had a job. Since my day off will be every Sunday so we changed our dating day;it will be every sunday.

Until now we did this and we've been together for almost 4 years.
I'm hoping that this will never change or else we will end up breaking up.

watstain3423 said...

What's up with the name? Inspired by an East Coast-West Coast long-distance relationship, Latty 39 is all about finding exciting locales to meet up somewhere in the middle (or not, as the case may be!). The center of the US is Latitude 39 - THUS, Latty39!

Elisabeth @ Bella said...

long distanced engaged is so hard! ben and i did it for a a month and half before we got married and that small time seemed like forever. it helepd us focus on developing our verbal communication skills though (because non verbals don't work long distance :)

you can do it!

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